"I mo beat yo ass on this train... yuuuuuuuuu"

The funniest stuff I have seen in a long time.



But wait, apparently there is someone in the world more creative than me. They took the audio from the above video and made a remix. Unbelievable.

It ain't nothin for me to whoop your ass, bud.

Writing journals doesn't help me. I thought it would. The only thing that helps is a forgetful mind. And Corona. And laughter. Everything else is like taking an aspirin for a broken arm.

I hate all the seizures that Brett has. I hate the fact that he can't swallow his saliva and so he chokes all the time. I hate the constant urinary tract infections. I hate how he always looks like he is not having the slightest bit of fun. He is a shell of his former little self, and I feel awful about the quality of life he has right now. I hate EVERYTHING that he is going through.

I don't feel as depressed anymore. I really don't. I just feel drained, and pissed, and so aggravated at everything. I want to have him as long as God desires him here, but 8 freaking years is a long time to watch your child die. God, please heal this child.

Connecting on the sweet spot

Kent his his first home run Saturday while playing on the B-team for Winslow Township High School. Barely 15, he is one of the stars on the team while still only in the 9th grade. I remember how I used to wonder if his hand-eye coordination would ever catch up to the size of his feet! He said the team they were playing brought in a player to pitch that also pitches for the varsity team. He threw Kent a fastball up high, just inside the plate. Kent turned on it and sent a high fly way over Winslow's "monster" in left field. Never much for words or elaboration, I asked Kent how it felt when he realized the ball had cleared the fence - "cool" was his response. He also said he had a big smile on his face when his teammates greeted him at home plate.

I remember the feeling of the ball hitting the bat right on the sweet spot. It's like the bat never really touches the ball. I hope all my kids experience that feeling of perfection numerous times. Word.

Top This One

Think you had a bad weekend? Try this one...

1) Way behind on getting ready for a garage sale, we drag out EVERY possible thing to sell.
2) But can't go through it all, because we get water damage to our bathroom, master closet, master bedroom, and hallway
3) All the dehumidifiers and dryers that are brought in cause the house to get very hot
4) Brett doesn't tolerate heat well, and has multiple seizures
5) Garage sale stuff gets done at the last minute, but does make it to the curb by 8 AM start
6) Starts raining about 9:30, just after we move furniture into the driveway to sell
7) Decide that making $250 for a garage sale that took about 20 hours to prepare for is not worth it
8) Some dang mexican steals a $5 wall shelf
9) Brett is up most of the night, so we are too tired to make it to Abby's first birthday party
7) The "hot house" causes the AC unit to freeze

Oh, well, Brett is better, Clay had an awesome visit, Abby turned 1, I fixed the AC, the insurance auditor is coming tomorrow, and I didn't mention fart one time in this blog. There is always a silver lining, right?

Sunday crappy Sunday

Well, today was just a stink hole of a day. Brett had seizures for about 18 hours. He finally was able to get to sleep about noon today, totally wiped out from the stress.

We're having a neighborhood garage sale next weekend, so we were going through Brett's old toys. Some of the toys were barely played with. It was back when he was two and losing his skills. He wasn't able to sit up anymore, but we were determined to continue buying him toys that a typical two year old would want. Yes, we were in denial. But, some of these toys were ones that he thoroughly enjoyed. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had not thought about these toys in years. They had been boxed up in Brett's unfinished play/therapy room, away from my eyes. Seeing them today brought up feelings that I have avoided and/or ignored for quite a while. I could not stop crying! It was so painful. But, I got through it, and realized that I really needed a good one. It wore me out, but somehow I felt better.

I also found out today that a high school friend of mine lost her husband to an aneurysm back in early February. He was only 38. My friend grew up without a father due to his early death. Now, she and her four children will have to live without their husband/father. I feel awful for her.

Life lessons - God's way way of pruning the vine. But damn, it is painful to endure.

Classy

It has been suggested that I move past my love for farting and add something new to my blog. I feel your pain; however, sometimes when I am alone with just me and my farts, I feel so nice. Almost pretty. And they really make me laugh. It goes all the way back to high school when we would stretch before before baseball practice. Ripping some choice biscuits was my way of loosening up the team. Hey, they voted me co-captain, so I've got that going for me. My friend Chris even went so far as to buy me a fart-o-nator a couple of weeks ago to entertain myself when I ran out of farts. Classy!

My sister claims to have married a younger version of me. I am so happy for her. We get along great, my brother-in-law and me. We cut the sound down on the t.v. and make up new conversations. We call each other on the phone and make gay innuendo jokes. I couldn't have picked a better one myself. He even taught my niece to say "Hey, lets have a fart contest." I'm so proud.

We've had a rough time of it lately. Brett just can't seem to get past these painful kidney stones and UTI's. I have prayed hundreds of times to switch places with him. I would love for him to have at least one "typical" day on earth. I don't really know what else to say here that wouldn't bring you to tears. So, I'll just get back to being stupid and ignore that for now.

"I still like a good fart"

This is like riding a rollercoaster. Some days Brett is ok, and others he has these vicious seizures that would rip your heart out. Some days we can look at him and tell he feels a little better, and then there are days where we notice that the seizures (and the violent rocking back and forth of his head) have created a bald spot at the back of his head. Some days he makes his talking noises, other days he doesn't utter a sound.

We (90% Mommy) are still cathing him every four hours. We're doing our best to get rid of his UTI (s). I might as well call them plural because he seems to always have a new organism lurking. I just wish for one good week for him.

We had to send our weekend nurse packing - she was unreliable and basically not doing things the way we would like. Our other nurse resigned from his case this week to take a case closer to her house. That's right - no nurses, although the agency we use has promised qualified nurses will be sent out for us to interview soon. Of course, I have offered to raise hell at the agency, but Lisa wants to be diplomatic. She's right, I'm sure.

On the good side, Kent made JV baseball, and Clay made the middle school team. I am proud of my big kids, but they better get those grades up or I will turn into my Dad and ground them from playing. Like my ex will ever allow that! To her, C's stand for Cool.

I spoke to some old friends recently. It was good to catch up with Tim, Frank, and my cousin Chris. I even talked to Ol' Sal Keeney. He married up, that boy did. OK, so they all did. Me, too.

Work is tough right now. We have underperformed for about a year, and I get the brunt of it. I think we're about to turn a corner, so maybe I can get home before dark!

I am trying to remain my old self. I still like a good fart. I still have a touch of the redneck genes that run through my body. Enough to drink beer in the driveway, but not enough to go to Talladega. That should be all the explanation needed. I hope you will all bow your heads and pray for an improved quality of life for Brett, some rest for Lisa, and peace with what is surely to come.

David