Well, today was just a stink hole of a day. Brett had seizures for about 18 hours. He finally was able to get to sleep about noon today, totally wiped out from the stress.
We're having a neighborhood garage sale next weekend, so we were going through Brett's old toys. Some of the toys were barely played with. It was back when he was two and losing his skills. He wasn't able to sit up anymore, but we were determined to continue buying him toys that a typical two year old would want. Yes, we were in denial. But, some of these toys were ones that he thoroughly enjoyed. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had not thought about these toys in years. They had been boxed up in Brett's unfinished play/therapy room, away from my eyes. Seeing them today brought up feelings that I have avoided and/or ignored for quite a while. I could not stop crying! It was so painful. But, I got through it, and realized that I really needed a good one. It wore me out, but somehow I felt better.
I also found out today that a high school friend of mine lost her husband to an aneurysm back in early February. He was only 38. My friend grew up without a father due to his early death. Now, she and her four children will have to live without their husband/father. I feel awful for her.
Life lessons - God's way way of pruning the vine. But damn, it is painful to endure.
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2 comments:
You said pruning the vine. I've heard it's like sandpapering. It hurts like h___ - but we're so much smoother and shinier when He's done. Thinking of you constantly.
Life is so unfair butGod is always there. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.
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